2014 Mercedes S Class Revealed

Look what's coming soon to an industry leader or war-mongering dictator's driveway soon.

This is the 2014 W222 Mercedes Benz S-Class and as we all know, the entire car industry starts and ends with the S-Class.

They're calling it the smartest S-Class of all time and I'm sure it is but I must admit the angle of this spy photo led me to believe the lines and body-styling of the brand new W222 would be slightly more subtle. Naturally this is the M.O. of Mercedes and BMW- they bring out the new flagship which really catches the eye (and sometimes rips it out) and gets everyone talking about it, then a few years later they bring out the update with more flowing, softened front and rear. Who can forget the collective gasp when BMW released this? Only to be updated with the more softly-softly-catchy-monkey version. What's that? This S-Class front end is a natural evolution of the W216 CL's over-pronounced styling? Whatever. Go and write your own blog.

OK so as the stack of new articles are hinting at, I have no doubt that this W222 is years ahead of BMW, Audi and Lexus as is the norm for brand new generation S-Classes. But for my taste the mess of lines, chrome and angles on the front and rear are making me think Mercedes has hired a stack of Korean or Japanese motoring designers. The tail isn't that bad but I hope the triple bottom-lip it has will be smoothed out for the S C-class W222 Marque II. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

Regarding the front, it certainly features an aggressive stance, akin to seeing a highway patrol car in your rear-view mirror. I'm trying to put my finger on what irks me and I think it comes down to the size of the grille and the thickness of the chrome. Remember back in the mid to late 90s lots of clowns would wrap everything on their Merc or Beemer in after-market chrome covers? But, if you're going to spend half a house's worth on a new car (or a whole house in Oz. Or two houses in Singapore) then you're probably going to want everyone to know about. I'll forgive Mercedes for the roller-coaster grille and air-intakes combination. 

After all this pedantry, umm, how do I say this...I still love it. Any giant leap in automative advancement is going to be good for all of us, even those who will benefit from this technology in their little Kia in another 10 years time. The front and rear don't spoil it for me because overall it's super hot, and this brings me to the inside. How many superlatives can I throw at this interior? It's mind-blowing. In typical ze-German fashion is looks space-age and doesn't get emotional and nostalgic like the big Brit brands who sometimes try and jam an entire forest into the cabin. Look at the rear centre console! "Ground control to major Tom..."

Lastly, I love the overall beast of a silhouette (which is a bonus if you're only showing people your new car in the dark) and in particular the rear 3/4 angle which reminds me of the Bentley Mulsanne. And in my book, the Mulsanne can do no wrong.

Nice one, Merc. What's next? I can't wait to see the new S-Class with S-Guard. What's S-Guard you say?!! No natural-resource-raping oligarch or part-time-genocide-fancier buys the S without the 'Guard'. Here's a taste of the previous generation's bomb-proof, gas proof, rocket-launcher ridiculing limo. I don't know who made this but I have a feeling The Techno-Viking was a consultant.